Having a conversation with your child or teen about weight and body image can feel complicated. Research shows that what children learn early on about weight and body image can have a lifelong impact on their self-esteem and health. So, what’s the best way to approach the topic with your child?
“Children learn about weight and body image from many different sources, including their parents, family, friends, classmates, teachers and the media,” says Lisa Watson, nurse practitioner at Atrium Health Levine Children’s Healthy Futures. “As a parent, you play a powerful role in how they’ll view their body and weight throughout their lives.”
Create a safe, nonjudgmental space to talk about weight and body image
“First, it’s important to create a nonjudgmental environment where children feel comfortable talking with you about their weight and appearance,” says Watson.
Here are a few tips:
- Ask your child’s permission to discuss this topic and allow them to say no.
- Let them know you’re always available to talk.
- Acknowledge any feelings they may have.
- Ask open-ended questions and encourage them to share how they’re feeling.
- Thank them for trusting you when they talk about something personal or sensitive.
- Do your best to be supportive and positive with your words, expressions and body language.
- Pro tip: “Talk about weight in terms of your child’s health. For example, the concern you express should not be about what their body looks like, but rather about how the food they eat is fueling their body,” says Watson.
- Never punish or bribe your child regarding their weight, physical activity or what they eat. This can create shame about eating, exercise and body image.
- Pro Tip: “Parents should remember that weight is only a number,” shares Watson. “The number on the scale doesn’t always tell the whole story.”
- If your child calls themselves “fat,” ask them where that thought came from. Perhaps they saw something on television or social media or a classmate made a comment. “I encourage parents to pay attention to the media their children consume,” says Watson. “And if bullying is occurring at school, talk to your child’s teacher right away.”
- Praise them for qualities other than their weight or how they look.
“When talking with your child about their weight or body, reinforce that you love them no matter what they look like or weigh,” says Watson. “Let them know their thoughts are normal and everyone has thoughts about their weight at some point.
Pay attention to how you talk about body image and weight
Cristiana Bray, nurse practitioner at Atrium Health Levine Children’s Healthy Futures, underscores the significance of mindful communication about body image and weight.
“How you and your partner talk about weight and body image can influence how your child sees their body,” says Bray. “Avoid negative talk about your body and how others look. Instead, do your best to set a positive example by speaking kindly about yourself and others.”
It’s also helpful to avoid discussions about fad diets. Instead, reinforce healthy habits in your home, such as eating whole foods, stopping when you’re satisfied, moving your body regularly, managing stress and getting enough sleep.
“I also suggest teaching your children that bodies — and health — can look like all different shapes and sizes,” says Bray.
Set a good example with healthy habits
Model positive behaviors to your child through your eating and exercise habits. Rather than fad diets or extreme exercise regimens, show them you can be healthy with a more balanced, kind approach. Avoid tying healthy behaviors to weight loss — rather, emphasize that these habits are good for their mental and physical health.
Encourage your child to:
- Get enough sleep. Preschoolers need 10 to 13 hours per night, school-aged kids need nine to 12 hours and teenagers need eight to 10 hours.
- Eat whole foods and less processed food. Avoid highly processed foods high in salt, sugar and fat and sugary drinks like soda, juice or sweet tea. Encourage them to eat satisfying, whole foods for snacks, such as yogurt, vegetable sticks, fresh fruit or string cheese.
- Eat when they’re hungry and stop when they’re satisfied, rather than stuffed. When serving their food, give them child-sized portions and allow them to ask for more if they’re hungry rather than automatically offering seconds.
- Get regular physical activity, such as playing outside, having a family dance party, going for walks, joining a sports team or bowling. Children ages 3 and above should be physically active for at least an hour a day. This time can be broken up into smaller chunks, such as 20 minutes three times per day.
“Practicing healthy habits together can go a long way in supporting a child’s health and self-esteem,” says Bray.
When to seek support about your child’s weight
If you are concerned about your child’s weight, eating habits or self-image, talk with your pediatrician. They may refer you to a registered dietitian who specializes in working with children.
“The number one thing you can do as a parent is to let your child know you’re there for them and love and support them no matter what,” says Bray.
Learn more about Atrium Health Levine Children’s Healthy Futures or find a Levine Children’s pediatrician near you.
