Potty training is an exciting milestone in every child's life, and while it can seem overwhelming for parents, understanding when and how to start can make the process much smoother. Each child is different, but there are common signs that indicate they may be ready to transition from diapers to the potty. Dr. Todd Vedder, pediatrician at Atrium Health Levine Children’s Arboretum Pediatrics, shares how parents can identify those signs and begin the potty-training journey with confidence.
Is your child ready to ditch the diapers?
Most children begin showing readiness for potty training between 18 months and 3 years of age, though every child progresses at their own pace. Before starting, it’s important to recognize the behavioral and physical signs that your child may be prepared. These include:
Physical awareness:
- Your child starts to stay dry for longer periods during the day, often two hours or more. This indicates bladder control is developing.
- They may wake up dry after naps, another positive sign of increased bladder awareness.
- Your child may begin to show awareness of their bodily functions by pulling at their diaper or telling you when they are wet or soiled.
Interest in the bathroom:
- Many children start to become curious about the toilet – asking questions about how it works or following family members into the bathroom to observe.
- A growing interest in watching others use the potty or playing with potty training equipment (like small training potties) is often a cue that your child is getting ready.
Basic motor skills:
- Your child can pull down their pants and underwear independently, which is essential for using the potty.
- They may start to show signs of being able to sit still for a few minutes, which is important for staying on the potty long enough to do their business.
Communication skills:
- A child ready for potty training can understand and follow simple instructions. Vedder suggests that "positive commands like 'Let’s go to the potty' tend to get more buy-in than asking a question like 'Do you have to go?'"
- They may also begin to use words or signals to communicate when they need to go to the bathroom, which is a key part of successful training.
Discomfort in dirty diapers:
- Many children start to show discomfort when their diaper is wet or soiled, asking to be changed right away. This indicates they're becoming more aware of their bodily functions and may prefer staying clean.
Tips for success
Once you notice several of these readiness signs, it’s time to embark on the potty training journey. Here are some expert tips to help make the process easier:
- Introduce the potty. Encourage your child to get familiar with a child-sized potty or a potty seat that fits securely on the toilet. Let them explore it, sit on it and get comfortable with it – even if they don’t use it right away. Reading fun books or watching age-appropriate videos together can help them understand what potty training is all about.
- Create a routine. Take your child to the bathroom regularly, especially after meals, naps or before bed. Even if they don’t use the potty every time, staying consistent helps them reinforce the habit and understand when it’s time to try.
- Use positive reinforcement. Praise your child whenever they use the potty or even attempt to sit on it. Vedder says this boosts their confidence and helps them stay motivated. Some families find small rewards, like stickers, are tangible ways to keep their kids engaged. Just be sure to keep the focus on progress, not perfection.
- Stay patient and realistic. Just as your child mastered eating and walking, they will eventually conquer this milestone too. Accidents and setbacks are normal and can be frustrating for both of you, but patience is crucial. Vedder encourages parents to avoid punishment when accidents happen. Instead, reassure your child and gently remind them to use the potty next time. Consistency is key, so keep reinforcing the routine.
- Foot placement is key. “Make sure your child’s feet can touch the floor when they are sitting on the potty. If not, a small stool can help them use their abdominal and pelvic muscles more effectively,” shares Vedder.
- Remember that every child is different. Potty training is not a one-size-fits-all process. Some kids catch on quickly, while others may need a bit more time. It can be tough, but approaching it with a sense of humor can help – after all, most of us have learned how to use the bathroom on our own. This phase won’t last forever!
When to delay potty training
Vedder says that children are more likely to master this new skill when they are relaxed and following a regular routine. Major life changes and disruptions in their routine – such as going on vacation, starting at a new school, becoming a big brother or sister, or going through a separation or divorce – can impact potty training progress.
“Childcare centers often set deadlines for potty training, which can be overwhelming for parents. Remember, at least 20% of children are not potty trained by their 3rd birthday. When considering childcare, ask about their potty-training policy and seek some leniency – it's never your child’s fault if they aren’t ready yet,” shares Vedder.
If your child resists potty training, it may help to take a break and try again in a few weeks. Sometimes, waiting a little longer leads to quicker success.
Extra tips for success:
- Model and teach hygiene habits. This is a great time to teach your child proper wiping habits, as well as hand washing. Vedder suggests, “Use this opportunity to sing the ABC song to make hand-washing more fun.”
- Avoid negative words. Stay away from terms like “dirty,” “stinky” or “naughty” when referring to accidents. Vedder advises, “the goal is to keep everything positive and supportive – avoid associating shame or guilt with the process.”
When to seek help
If your child is past the age of 3 and shows no interest in potty training or if the process seems especially challenging, it may be helpful to consult your child’s pediatrician. There can be underlying reasons for delayed readiness, such as physical or emotional factors. Your child’s health care provider can offer additional guidance and rule out any medical issues.
Potty training is a major step in your child’s development, but it doesn’t have to be stressful. By watching for signs of readiness and approaching the process with patience and positivity, you can help your child succeed.
Experts at Atrium Health Levine Children’s are here to support you through every stage of your child’s growth. Find a pediatrician near you today.
